Becoming Adults

A little over two weeks ago I decided that I wanted the room we have as our bedroom and the room we use as an office to change. The new bedroom has a glassed in porch with french doors and I envisioned a retreat away from everything kid-related - just one room to be an adult without Scooby Doo blankets, littered pajamas, or a little boy’s “best friend.”

Work proceeded quickly. At noon the old office was empty and the old bedroom was fairly well dismantled. Scott pulled me aside and suggested that instead of putting the bedroom furniture up immediately we should paint the new bedroom instead. We could run over to Ace Hardware and get what I wanted, and then the painting would “only take an hour.”

I bought the paint. It’s a deep peach color that I love. But after an hour we knew that we would need to add a 2nd coat, because our “white” walls were amazingly brownish green when the new paint was applied. And while the 2nd coat was applied the following day, we then needed to work to make sure that the trim was right and there weren’t any spots missed.

It took about 10 days before we were able to move furniture into the new bedroom. Just in time for Valentine’s Day we got the bed set up, the dressers and desk that we want in our bedroom arranged the way we want them, and the sheets on the bed. I looked around the room and marveled about how nice it was to have a space for grownups.

The next day, when Scott and I crawled into bed, the bed collapsed. Turns out the frame wasn’t reassembled correctly, and it warped beyond saving. Now we have our box springs and mattress on the floor. Then everyone except Jude was hit by strep, one by one. The kids started coming in to get extra cuddling. Now the floor is littered with pajamas that need to be picked up, Valentine cards from school, and the tubs of holiday wrapping supplies that fits under the bed.

I guess this is how grownups really live.

Autism Musings

One of the hardest things for me in dealing with Breydon’s autism is deciphering whether he *can’t* do things or whether he *won’t* do things. Some things I’ve learned with practice. For example I know that he hates pasta but when he thinks that the benefits outweigh the aggravation of eating it he’ll chomp it down with hardly a whimper. I know that while hauling his dirty clothes to the laundry is “boring” he is very capable of doing so - and even capable of putting clothes into the washer and starting it if asked.

Other things I’m not so sure about. It would seem that not hovering over my shoulder (or Scott’s) if we have iTunes open to see what songs we may put into a play list would be something he can help. But no matter what the consequences, even if it means losing his own mp3 player for a few days, he still hovers and can’t be away from watching what we’re doing for more than a couple minutes at most. So is he being really stubborn or are the signals in his brain firing weird signals which affect his behavior?

And where do his social interactions fit in? Is Breydon’s insistence on sitting next to Jude’s good friend The Cool Kid because as a big brother he wants to annoy his sibling or does he think that pushing into his brother’s friendships is the way to make friends? Does he understand why other kids aren’t sure how to interact with him when he smuggles stuff to school to stim with?

Breydon is amazing. He’s smart. He’s affectionate. He’s curious. He loves to learn. I just wish I better knew how to help him as he is reaching the age where other children notice the differences between how he acts and how they act. I want him to have acceptance.

Preschool and the Art of Zipping

Roegen is in preschool this year. He attends two days a week and absolutely LOVES Miss Courtney. For a while we were able to get him to do just about anything by asking what Miss Courtney would say if he didn’t eat his peas or put his action figures away.

Miss Courtney even causes Roegen to want to go to preschool. This is a really big deal because he’s still extremely shy around anyone he doesn’t know. He may talk my ear off but there are people at church who wonder if he knows how to talk at all.

Roegen also loves pajamas. There are many days where getting him dressed for the day is a battle I choose not to fight. On days we go out and about he’ll get home from preschool or church or shopping and immediately head for the jammy drawer.

Today was a PJ day. And somehow Roegen managed to catch his penis in the zipper not once but twice. It’s been highly traumatic around our house and Scott can’t stop wincing in sympathy.

After the second zipper attack Roegen threw himself into my arms sobbing “I can never change clothes and go see Miss Courtney ever again!!!!!”

Scott is now conducting lessons in how to use a zipper in our living room. I hope Roegen learns the Art of Zipping well.

Taking the Havoc and Mayhem of Being Three to New Levels

Roegen has been wired since Christmas. I’m sure that part of it relates to all the excitement and throwing off routines and part of it relates to a child who is weaning himself from napping faster than I’d like.

Everything right now is extreme. Turn off Scooby Doo? Roegen runs to the bathroom to throw himself sobbing on top of the laundry hamper, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks as he tells me that he’s “not happy without Scooby and Scrappy Doo.” Tell him he’s having Vanilla Almond Special K for breakfast and he starts jumping up and down while explaining “I love Special K!” Pick him up from preschool and he lets out an ear-curdling shriek while trying to set a world record in cross-classroom sprinting. Give him a hug and you’re likely to get a tight squeeze back along with the words “you’re the best (mommy, daddy, Jude, Breydon, etc) in the whole world.

Obviously the extremes aren’t all bad. But one of the extremes we’re dealing with now is that of creativity. Roegen thinks up things to do that he shouldn’t faster than I can think them up to tell him that he’s not allowed to climb to the top of the kitchen cabinets or apply Elmer’s glue to Pablo or get into Breydon’s mind bending puzzles. He’s acting before I have time to react, which leads to the noise and chaos in this house.

Tonight he’s reached new levels, though. After taking a bath with Jude, while crawling out of the tub he reached over a bit Jude on the butt. I asked him why, while banning him from further baths from his brother, and he looked up and me with tear-filled eyes as he proclaimed “it was an accident.”

Planning Ahead

I believe in setting goals. I have several which range from the simple (eat breakfast every day) to the fun (taking a road trip vacation to Alaska in 2011) to the major (finish my undergrad degree so I can graduate in June and move on to a Masters).

Breydon has taken goal setting to a whole new level.

*He has decided that when he gets older he is going to be a musician.
*He plans to have his own band, which he will call the Valcons.
*He plans on writing his own music, which will be highly influenced by The Beatles.
*And on May 21, 2021 he plans to retire from our house and never live with us again.

I just wish I could convince him to plan on cleaning his bedroom every week-end.

Scooby Why? Scooby Die?

Roegen is obsessed with Scooby Doo. Well, to be honest obsessed is far too mild a word to describe the depth of his feelings for Scooby, Shaggy, and the rest of the gang.

It all started because Breydon wanted Spongebob sheets for Christmas. Santa heard about it, and sent Grandma to ask what types of bedding sets Jude and Roegen wanted so that he could bring something for all three boys. Jude was easy - he’s into all things Bakugan. Roegen was more of a challenge, because at that time his favorite character was Wubbzy – and while Wubbzy products are starting to show up in stores bedding is not something very accessible.

I asked Roegen what he liked. The list was long. But at the end he smiled up at me and said that Scooby Doo was his favorite.

That was news to me, but I dutifully relayed the information to Grandma and she told Santa. Sure enough, on Christmas Eve Santa showed up with Scooby Doo Sheets, a Scooby Doo blanket, and DVDs of the complete first season of one of the many Scooby Doo series.

We want those DVDs to disappear from the time space continuum. Roegen has turned them on for every waking moment possible ever since they arrived. He cries if we tell him not now, which gives the entire family migraines as we resist being sucked into Scoobydom. He goes to bed at night upset that he has to leave Scooby behind, and wakes up in the morning demanding that Scooby be turned on.

We are in Scooby Doo hell.

Roegen’s birthday is February 25. I’m desperate to come up with gifts that have nothing to do with that brown dog with black spots. Zoinks!!